Life

I can't believe it has been a month and a half since I have blogged! I am still trying to figure out what this all means. It isn't a personal journal, I mean, I can't spill all my beans on here! And it isn't a way to connect with others all that well. For me is a bit of a sanitized journal...me, but the slightly edited me. No, I am not some psychotic Mama typing away, I just know that family can come across this accidentally and then interrogate the heck out of me for what I choose to do with my life (although I have to say I make good choices MOST of the time, hehe). Yes, I am 35, almost 36, but still, who wants grief from family???

Life has been...interesting. Going through some...stuff. I think my absence from blogging is because I haven't figured out how to be open/honest with myself on so many levels and when you have emotional blockage, well, nothing flows well. Constipation of the emotions.

I recently (today actually) hit 179 lbs!!! HURRAY! I have been working out so much, eating smaller portions and not snacking, less fast food, trying to not eat after 7 or 8 (less late dinners!), having a meal shake for breakfast instead of coffee with 900 calories of creamer!!! Stuff like that. I am READY to lose the weight, and that is the biggest factor. You can't (or won't) if you aren't ready.

My first 10 lb reward was to re-pierce my tongue. Okaaayyyy, that I know may sound more like torture (and have to say, the healing was much harder this time and think I may have lost 3 lbs from not being able to eat, haha). For me, it was being more ME than I have been in a long time. Something I have been "toning down" for the sake of Motherhood. You can only mellow out so much before you realize you aren't being much of you anymore, and you want the kids to know who you really are, that you aren't bland or boring, that you have interests too.

That is it for today. I will try to post again soon! Maybe even to spill the beans, maybe.