My "New" Toy

Actually, I have had this since 2005, when Mark's Aunt Leah was clearing her "estate" (ie: giving everything to me). I didn't use it until the other day, and am now smacking myself upside the head and wishing for all these years I would have been though! It makes the best, tastiest, more flavorful coffee I have ever had in my life. I actually like the taste of it, and find the creamer to be a bit overkill now. Thank you Starbuck's for explaining to me on the phone how to do it!

Okay, for those of you wondering, yes, I have fallen off the coffee wagon. I am however, getting back on it tomorrow since I won't be able to drink any and then will only be able to in slight moderation depending on the outcome of my liver biopsy...in more detail on My Journey TO Health blog.

Mom Pals & Kids Growin' Up

I once saw this Law & Order episode where at the end the show this lady had passed (or maybe it was a guy...most likely murdered...obviously neither impacted me like the point I am about to get to...), so this person passed and the cops were wondering (okay, now I think it may have been Crossing Jordan...and it was the forensics team wondering...anyway!) where this person's friends were since not one person showed up to the funeral.

This person had hundreds of friends, dozens of really close ones...but ALL ONLINE!

So, point is, I have a bunch of friends, most I rarely see even once a year, some just once a year, others just a few times a month, that just seems so, odd. I guess if I was raising kids 25 years ago I would either A) not have any friends at all; B) get out of the house during the day more and meet some; or C) actually have a life since I wouldn't be sittin' at the friggin' computer on and off all day. (okay, exaggeration, but feels like it!).

I guess friends take effort, and after pseudo-homeschooling, half-ass cleaning the house and all the other roles home manager entail...I just "get by" with the least amount of effort. So on that note, I am going to make sure to actually talk to a friend on the phone. Oh wait, I called Sam this week already! (whew, off the hook!).

But really, I miss the good ol' days of my "Coffee Klatch" (as Rachel K. used to say), we all were in the midst of having babies, nursing and had toddlers running around. We lived in the Silverton/Woodburn/Keizer/Salem areas...and EVERY Friday, someone would make the coffee, make a nice munchable for the parents and kids, and offer up their home. Start off clean and after 2+ hours everyone would clean up and whoosh, time to go home and make lunch and get the toddlers to nap. Fulfilling conversation, face to face, seeing that my kids (oops, only one at that point!) WAS normal.

There were 6 of us at first (and 10 kids...and then 5 more babies to follow from these 6 Mamas), and then we had 3-5 more Mama's that would come sometimes, and sometimes not, making over 16 kids at times. Crazy, but fun!

There is something I really miss about having a preschooler, a toddler & a baby all at the same time- the portability of them in the "Mom-realm", being able to go Indoor Park because it was 5 & under, or take them all to a cooperative preschool because two were enrolled and one was a "sibling".

Things are different now, older kids...one almost 8 and another almost 11!!! Sports rule our evenings, not snuggling in the California King sized bed (sideways even to make even more room!) and reading books until bedtime. Maybe this should be about kids growing up...not friends...somehow I manage to digress into another topic all together. Really though, they do go hand in hand...friends, Mom friends, kids, and as they get older and as your activities get more diverse, things get really too busy to just sit w/ coffee and chat with friends most of the time. I sure do miss those days!!!

I Think I've Done It!

I don't know if I have shaken my bout with depression currently or not, but I am feeling pretty good. We went to Bend (OR) this past weekend to attend Morgan's gymnastics State Championships, and we stayed with Mark's family (cousin). It was a quick trip, but it was so nice to be in a different place! The blue sky was just what my clouded up brain needed. Salem is so gray, dark, cold & wet. This was a breath of fresh & cold air, but bright and sunny! We could do stuff outside (and move around a lot to keep warm), and we didn't have to run from the wet, damp or rain. We almost moved to Bend in 1998 when we first moved up to Oregon (and then back to CA in 2001, and then back up here in 2005), but we chose to move to a beautiful little town of Silverton (now we are in Keizer- 40 inches of rain). Everything there was almost perfect, except for the 44 inches of rain a year! (Bend gets about 11 inches!).

Having hours of coffee induced conversation w/ my husband...talking about our constant money "situation", moving, raising kids, where we really want to settle and stay, how to buy a house with one income...or not, kids, family, friends, more on life, health, etc...it got tense, but we never argued. That alone was a huge accomplishment! Tired, cranky kids in the back, a 3 hour drive home, the stress of some of the conversation (moving, money & family), we pulled it off successfully.

I know I analyze my life A LOT, more than weekly or daily...more like bi-hourly! Trying to peg myself into some sort of clinical diagnosis to "solve" my emotional/mental state. I am settling into the whole "A New Earth" idea of my ego just running amok in my brain, and has been for some time now. I am NOT bi-polar, despite my ups & downs for the past, oh, 35 years (um, that is how old I am!), I am NOT run by my depression, well, I am, but I letting it by not exercising or taking care of me w/ good foods and thoughts. I can see this now that the clouds have cleared from my head a bit, and to act quickly will keep the demons far from my being.

So, things are looking up, life was shaken and I actually saw the light (in Bend).

Laundry Lady

We have been home all week now, except for excursions out to drop Morgan off at gymnastics for a few hours and pick him up, several days a week. Anyway, I had this grandeous idea of how much I would get done. Okay, on a NON COFFEE week? What the heck was I thinking??? I decided I am a Friday-Sunday coffee drinker now.

Laundry is my only goal in life for the next few days, aside from nursing, diapers, feeding the kids, cleaning up, and then any other unforeseens. For a family of 6, I should be doing about 1.5 loads a day, or with cloth diapers, about 2 loads every single day. WHICH means, if I don't get around to putting it away for a few days, I stop washing laundry, which then means if I stop washing the (literally) stinkin' laundry, I end up with a massive pile of diry & damp laundry. Now I have about 6-8 loads of clean laundry in my room and 10 loads of dirty laundry to do! Not that any of this matters, I don't know if I have EVER been caught up on laundry, and if I do get all caught up, will it all fall apart again the next time someone gets sick or I am too tired or I have to actually wash the bed linens (can't it wait until someone actually wets the bed or throws up in it?).

Alas, at least I am happy with our detergent. I am using Bio-Kleen right now, but am unhappy with both of my natural fabric softener sheets (Method...none work & something from Cost Plus...doesn't work either). I want something that smells nice (and isn't really yucky for my family).

For now...off to bed to read my New Earth book. Hopefully I have some clean unders in the morning!

Oh, and if this is boring...you can be happy you aren't me...I am happy after all, to take on that roll as laundry lady for my family. :o)

Day 2

Here I am, gettin' into the blogging groove! I have now spent over 3 hours (more like 5) on my "15 minutes" blog over the past 3 days...but that is just to get it started of course, yep. I really have nothing profound to say today except that I am having another bad Mama day, where patience isn't in my Motherly toolbelt, again. Actually, this week has been kinda cranky for me (my husband might pipe in, "THIS week? Don't you mean this LIFE? You are the Queen of Cranky", all in jest of course, hehe.). Could this have anything to do with quitting coffee on Monday? I am taking some Herbalife supplements that have caffine in them, thus NO caffine addict headache (or bad coffee breath). My time is up, I guess my brain is moving rather slow and time isn't on my side today either.

Oh, and one more threat to throw the kids in school when I asked them to turn off the TV, again. That makes at least once a day this week. I guess I just am in a bad way, please forgive me Homeschool Gods, for the blasphemy I speak of. I shall wash my sins away with some penmenship at the kitchen table! (Oh, hey, and we did a science experiment today too, can't forget that!).