I don't know if I have shaken my bout with depression currently or not, but I am feeling pretty good. We went to Bend (OR) this past weekend to attend Morgan's gymnastics State Championships, and we stayed with Mark's family (cousin). It was a quick trip, but it was so nice to be in a different place! The blue sky was just what my clouded up brain needed. Salem is so gray, dark, cold & wet. This was a breath of fresh & cold air, but bright and sunny! We could do stuff outside (and move around a lot to keep warm), and we didn't have to run from the wet, damp or rain. We almost moved to Bend in 1998 when we first moved up to Oregon (and then back to CA in 2001, and then back up here in 2005), but we chose to move to a beautiful little town of Silverton (now we are in Keizer- 40 inches of rain). Everything there was almost perfect, except for the 44 inches of rain a year! (Bend gets about 11 inches!).
Having hours of coffee induced conversation w/ my husband...talking about our constant money "situation", moving, raising kids, where we really want to settle and stay, how to buy a house with one income...or not, kids, family, friends, more on life, health, etc...it got tense, but we never argued. That alone was a huge accomplishment! Tired, cranky kids in the back, a 3 hour drive home, the stress of some of the conversation (moving, money & family), we pulled it off successfully.
I know I analyze my life A LOT, more than weekly or daily...more like bi-hourly! Trying to peg myself into some sort of clinical diagnosis to "solve" my emotional/mental state. I am settling into the whole "A New Earth" idea of my ego just running amok in my brain, and has been for some time now. I am NOT bi-polar, despite my ups & downs for the past, oh, 35 years (um, that is how old I am!), I am NOT run by my depression, well, I am, but I letting it by not exercising or taking care of me w/ good foods and thoughts. I can see this now that the clouds have cleared from my head a bit, and to act quickly will keep the demons far from my being.
So, things are looking up, life was shaken and I actually saw the light (in Bend).
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Trying to peg myself into some sort of clinical diagnosis to "solve" my emotional/mental state.
I am NOT bi-polar
I am NOT run by my depression
only a libra can be this certain of completely opposing viewpoints, lol.
fyi: getting treated for a "clinical diagnosis" trumps the shame people often feel being diagnosed. what i'm saying is, xanax rocks!
yeah, been to therapy, too many times to count (liked that best though), been on meds, all that...made me feel crazy and not wanting to "drug hop" to find the right med. going a la natural, which is good because right now a certain liver thing i am going through won't allow room for more damage to be done to it (lots of anti-dep meds damage the liver). i am feeling good finally, looking up and went to the gym tonight!
A dose of sunshine is always a good idea! I hope the trend continues and you keep looking up!
And good job on making it to the gym!
Post a Comment