I once saw this Law & Order episode where at the end the show this lady had passed (or maybe it was a guy...most likely murdered...obviously neither impacted me like the point I am about to get to...), so this person passed and the cops were wondering (okay, now I think it may have been Crossing Jordan...and it was the forensics team wondering...anyway!) where this person's friends were since not one person showed up to the funeral.
This person had hundreds of friends, dozens of really close ones...but ALL ONLINE!
So, point is, I have a bunch of friends, most I rarely see even once a year, some just once a year, others just a few times a month, that just seems so, odd. I guess if I was raising kids 25 years ago I would either A) not have any friends at all; B) get out of the house during the day more and meet some; or C) actually have a life since I wouldn't be sittin' at the friggin' computer on and off all day. (okay, exaggeration, but feels like it!).
I guess friends take effort, and after pseudo-homeschooling, half-ass cleaning the house and all the other roles home manager entail...I just "get by" with the least amount of effort. So on that note, I am going to make sure to actually talk to a friend on the phone. Oh wait, I called Sam this week already! (whew, off the hook!).
But really, I miss the good ol' days of my "Coffee Klatch" (as Rachel K. used to say), we all were in the midst of having babies, nursing and had toddlers running around. We lived in the Silverton/Woodburn/Keizer/Salem areas...and EVERY Friday, someone would make the coffee, make a nice munchable for the parents and kids, and offer up their home. Start off clean and after 2+ hours everyone would clean up and whoosh, time to go home and make lunch and get the toddlers to nap. Fulfilling conversation, face to face, seeing that my kids (oops, only one at that point!) WAS normal.
There were 6 of us at first (and 10 kids...and then 5 more babies to follow from these 6 Mamas), and then we had 3-5 more Mama's that would come sometimes, and sometimes not, making over 16 kids at times. Crazy, but fun!
There is something I really miss about having a preschooler, a toddler & a baby all at the same time- the portability of them in the "Mom-realm", being able to go Indoor Park because it was 5 & under, or take them all to a cooperative preschool because two were enrolled and one was a "sibling".
Things are different now, older kids...one almost 8 and another almost 11!!! Sports rule our evenings, not snuggling in the California King sized bed (sideways even to make even more room!) and reading books until bedtime. Maybe this should be about kids growing up...not friends...somehow I manage to digress into another topic all together. Really though, they do go hand in hand...friends, Mom friends, kids, and as they get older and as your activities get more diverse, things get really too busy to just sit w/ coffee and chat with friends most of the time. I sure do miss those days!!!
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6 comments:
I feel your pain. I feel your pain.
I had 10 years of single-dom, in Vegas, no less... and I wonder sometimes where she went.
We Vegas girls used to meet at a sidewalk cafe every Tuesday for lunch. Sit in the sun, soak up the non-existent Vegas culture, breathe the fumes from the 5-lane street 10 feet away. And plan our exploits in the clubs for the coming week.
Ah.... those days are gone and I didn't adequately appreciate them when I had them.
I miss my girls though. Painfully sometimes. Once the kids arrive, it's just not the same.
Before I had kids, I mostly hung w/ a big group of guy friends, so actually, I just miss my "new Mom-dom" friends the most. When things were a tad bit more SIMPLE (shock, did that word come out of my brain???).
Perhaps I'm just a bit more on the selfish side then.
;)
YOU, selfish??? Not EVEN. You are so giving. I just didn't have too many girlpals before having kids. So after having them, I developed some good bonds w/ women through motherhood & preg/ birth/nursing/ kids stuff. Having 4 in a wide range, life gets so busy to stop and have a chat w/ friends anymore.
Let's do coffee! My place or yours?
Coffee sounds nice (or even tea!). My place is good, although my playroom is off-limits right now (the dumping room at the moment), but we can pull some toys out and bring them to the play room. Or if it gets sunny, the kids can play in the sandbox. Next week?
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