I haven't been posting lately, been feeling like I am at the bottom of a pond, looking up into the reflection of myself on the bottom of the surface (only way I know to explain it). Basically, downer than down, lamer than lame.
But yesterday, something urged me to move into action, outside of myself. Apparently, a fellow homeschooling Mama in Dallas, OR passed away from a bad cold going around. It turned into pneumonia, and her kidneys shut down, and she died. DIED. She was 37 and had a 12 yo daughter and a 7 year old son. Mother, wife, 4-H teacher, church lady, homeschooler, friend. It rocked my psyche and pull me to pull up my bootstraps and get something done for her family. I didn't do much, just contact the church, and contact the MOPS Mom meal train coordinator, and now am on the back burner for her family, all I need to do is rally up other fellow HSers at a moments notice and help.
Something like that just shakes your world, makes you look around, even while you are in a funk, and pull you out of it, even if just temporarily. I am not "cured" of my depression at all, but between that raising my awareness of something bigger than me, and reading A New Earth, I am feeling like I am getting a better grip of life's true meaning.
I am not going to get all philosophical here, but I am feeling a bit better knowing that my life ain't so bad, that I could be paralyzingly depressed, and I am not. I am functional, which means I can pull myself out with effort. That is worth living for!
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